Fei's Unrevealed Secrets....雨飞不能说的秘密

6 月：父亲节~ 芒果蛋糕（Mango Cake）；香蕉杯子蛋糕（Banana Cupcakes）

2010-07-10T09:10:00.001+08:00

6 月

过了母亲节又怎会少了父亲节叻？
今年本来想做个没有奶油的蛋糕- 紫薯蛋糕（在别人的部落格里见到的，紫紫的天然颜色真的很美~）可惜去到巴刹却没有紫薯。。。黄薯，白薯，马铃薯就有很多 =.="

结果就抱了三粒芒果回来。。。
做么呢？芒果蛋糕咯~

买了三粒回来才知不够用。。。
因为在网上看到很多美美的芒果蛋糕就想用他们那套来装饰，结果芒果被我切到不成形。。。
之前又没试过用芒果作装饰，所以没办法呈现漂亮的巨大玫瑰形芒果肉装饰。。。勉强只有一小朵可以摆出来给人看。。。

算了，没有芒果还有苹果和蓝莓，就全部拿来做配角吧。
怎知自己切苹果的技术那么糟糕，切坏了两粒苹果后终于给我勉强弄出一对‘叶子’。。。
这么简单的装饰却被我搞了几个钟，凌晨12点半终于大功告成。。。失败失败。。。

6月尾。。。
家里种的香蕉又熟了~ 好久没吃香蕉蛋糕了。。。这次就做香蕉杯子蛋糕吧！

5月： Dragon Boat Festival- 包粽子咯！

2010-07-10T09:10:00.000+08:00

5月
桌上摆满了粽叶和草绳，就知道端午节又到了~
妈一早就准备好包粽子的材料：栗子，糯米，香菇，花肉，蚝豉，糖冬瓜。。。
这个周末我们家将飘来阵阵粽子香了~~

妈炒香了材料后，妹将材料放入粽叶，我就负责用草绳包扎粽子。

包扎粽子这步骤若做不好，煮粽子的时候草绳就会松开，那就变成水煮糯米了。

经过多年的包扎经验，今年总算扎得最好的了。

（只是我的双手被草绳和粽叶的茎弄得伤痕累累。。。)

对了。。。现在才发觉忘了拍下打开粽叶后的粽子 =.=

算了，下次吧 =P

Mother's Day Special~ Oreo Steamed Baked Cheese Cake

2010-05-15T14:08:00.001+08:00

Mother's day~

Without the helping hand of my mum, i'll not be able to bake this cake =p (im not yet qualified to bake one on my own);

but im good at taking the photos of my masterpiece~ (i dont dare to put up the whole picture of the cake because it was quite...erm....not pretty- in fact it was quite ugly, it 'Bloomed' like a volcano ~ possibly due to over-sized eggs which caused the mixture also 'over-sized'. )

so i cut it into pieces to make my pictures look nicer~

Ingredients:

250g Cream Cheese

4 tablespoon Fresh Milk

70g Butter

5 Egg Yolks

1 Tablespoon of grind Lemon-skin

40g Superfine Flour

40g Corn Flour

5 Egg White

120g Sugar

Biscuit Base:

2 packet of Oreo biscuits

90g Melted Butter

1. Take out the white cream and crash only the Oreo biscuits.

2. Mix well with melted butter and press the oreo biscuit into a non-stick adjustable mould.

3. Cover the base of the mould with aluminum foil. Refrigerate before use.

4. Heat up A with small fire in a pot until smooth without boiling it.

5. Then add in B+C; set aside for later use.

6. Beat D until fluffy.

7. Fill up a baking trey with water and heat up the oven for later use.

8. Mix a portion from D to the mixture as in step 5 ; then only pour the mixture into the remaining of D and mix well gently.

9. Pour the mixture into the biscuit base.

10. Steam bake for 60 to 75 mins at 160ºC.

Feb event photos~

2010-03-06T20:48:00.000+08:00

Events during Feb。。。

Gift day~

Gift Wrapping specially for my colleagues and friends- on my birthday~ ^ ^

Actually that day i planned to bake some cupcakes for my colleagues, but when im about to start, i realised that my fridge was out of BUTTER !! Im a bit frustrated that time.... i kinda blame my mum for not stock up the butter.....(sorry mum....actually i felt very guilty > <)

Then i decided to just pack some cookies i made...but it was kinda hard coz i couldn't figured how to pack it properly inside the plastic bag i bought....

Finally at ard 10.30 pm that night, i managed to find a way to pack it. I took about 90 mins to accomplish this task. My dad said if i was in the production area, sooner or later the business sure 'Jap-Lap' (ended).

i took a yogurt cover to serve as a plate; then the green teabag as the base of the packaging

Ta-daa~ looks cute huh~

20 packets of cookies ready to win my friends' heart~

Next chapter: My Birthday Cake ~

Get ready to hv fun~ Just like Play Dough ^^

Assorted colours to make sugar paste

a very 'cacat'-look teddy bear....

'Pai-seh' la...

these are easy~ lol

"Meeehhhhh......."

Thx sis for taking this picture for me... not too bad

~Home Made Cookies~

2010-03-06T19:02:00.001+08:00

Finally i hv the free time to fix my photos~~ Chinese New Year Project: "Home Made Cookies~"

~Jam Tarts~

Homemade Pineapple jam vs Jam bought fm bakery shop (darker colour in packet)

Version 1: Cute Little Porcupines

Version 2: Sunny Side Up

Version 3: Rolling Jam

(easiest version of Pineapple Jam Tart)

~Choco-Rocher~

~Hearty-Mix Nuts~

One of my fav cookies

~Doggy-Head~

Made from Horlicks, Coco-crunch, Choco-chips, Choco-rice

Recipe fm here

~Little Panda~

These pandas took me almost 3 hrs to "cut & paste" their faces....

(no more panda cookies for next yr @@)

Recipe fm here

Hapi Birthday Liwei~ Choco-Walnut Muffins

2010-01-24T16:37:00.003+08:00

昨天约了大学时的朋友到 Sungai Chua 喝那里出名的酸辣汤和吃一些不错的瓦煲菜肴~
每年的第一个聚会都是为她而办的~ Liwei 的生日~ 今年当然不例外。

只是今年的庆祝方式有点不同，为了表示我对她多年的‘爱意’，总不能少了又诚意的礼物吧！
本来是想送她一对耳环的，却又好像没新意。。。搞得我前晚都睡不好。。。

昨天早上一大清早7.30已起床了，打开电脑找找我收集的食谱，考虑是否要做个蛋糕给她~
正浏览着几篇做 Mousse 和 Creamy 的蛋糕时，才突然想起我们是去普通的茶餐室，要冷藏蛋糕应该很麻烦吧。。。

正想放弃我的计划时，突然想起不需冷藏的蛋糕- Muffin~
虽然是普通了点，但好处很多：快速又容易做，不用冷藏又方便吃，不需另外准备刀叉纸碟就可以一人一个慢慢享受~

看到中间有个杯子是空的吗？呵呵。。。那粒Muffin Overflow了，烘得那么难看不好拿来送人，只好拿来当我的早餐了~~

临时手工做的装饰品~

知道她喜欢巧克力，所以就做了巧克力口味的Muffin，里面加了脆脆的胡桃块～

溶了少许的巧克力，把一颗颗可爱的心‘粘’着 Muffin 的顶部，好窝心的感觉~~

换个角度拍拍我今年第一个作品～　还好起得早，不然就赶不及完成作品了。

因为盒子太小了，若装饰品插着Muffin盒子就盖不上，只好把它粘在盒外，等要打开时才插吧！

爸六十大寿！

2010-01-03T16:12:00.006+08:00

爸六十大寿刚过了！为了筹备他的生日会，花了我不少时间啊。。。
亲手做了一张特大卡给他，请了整整一个礼拜的假都做不完。。。 =p
妹也快顶不顺我的过度挑剔，闹得快翻脸！

到了爸生日当天才完成作品。其实还不是很满意，但没时间了，圣诞前夕我还得上班，又特别多东西做，而且还要赶回家帮爸庆生。

蛋糕就不是我亲手做了，因爸喜欢吃的Pandan layered cake 一定要当天做才好吃，所以就有劳妈了。我就只能负责蛋糕上的装饰。

23号晚上回家后就烘了一些手指饼，加上前几天用巧克力做成的装饰。只是那巧克力装饰就搞了我整晚。。。失败了几次了，还好终于搞成了。

那晚吃得我肚子快撑破！又肥了几公斤了吧。。。
之前姑姑生日时也吃了超多的，只是甜品就已经3样了！表姐做的Tiramisu，餐厅里点的舒芙里（Souffle）,还有我和妈做的蛋糕。。。哇，餐后恐惧症+罪恶感！！！
终于尝试了Souffle的味道。。。怎么不是我想象的那么好吃。。。外皮好硬哦！

自制鱼丸~ 炸鱼大餐

2009-12-06T22:43:00.007+08:00

去PD 最兴奋的是什么？不是海滩，而是去巴刹买新鲜的鱼。当然不是我啦，是我爸妈~
他们就是特地去那里买鱼和虾。往往都买上百零吉，雪藏起来可以吃很久，即使过了几个星期，都还是很新鲜。

妈最喜欢在那里买胶鱼或西刀鱼回来自制鱼丸，鱼饼。只是取鱼肉已花了很多精神和力气，超辛苦的。平时是用人力打鱼肉的，我做过几次，简直是累到我要死！

这次买了很多胶鱼回来，所以改用机器绞肉。原来家里的用来做蛋糕的mixer也可以用来绞肉的！

绞了后还要拿来 ‘打’ 才弹口！

胶鱼或西刀鱼的皮可以用鱼肉来釀。而右边的那块很geli 的内脏是鱼蛋。

炸好的鱼饼。

炸釀鱼皮。

炸鱼。

炸鱼蛋。

整桌都是炸的食物，很引人 ‘犯罪’~ 肥人的大忌！
当然没有在一餐里吃完那么多啦，只是一次过炸好待用而已。

“抽筋的眼皮”。。。甜言蜜“鱼”+ 苦瓜炒蛋

2009-12-05T08:54:00.006+08:00

最近累坏了。。。
左眼皮不听话，喜欢就跳动几下，兴奋起来竟然来个连环跳，症状已维持了有近一个月了。。。搞得我几乎发狂

工作的忙碌和烦恼也不想多讲了，总之是忙到连吃饭都没离开过工作台。
把食物满满地塞进嘴巴后，眼睛再回到电脑荧幕继续工作，才慢慢咀嚼食物。。。
我开始担心我会消化不良，加重我胃病的状况

下个礼拜请了5天假，本来打算去旅行的，怎知Book不到合适的团，再加上妹妹又有补习。。。旅行泡汤了。。。
妈还说：“不要紧啦，你留在家帮我收拾房子更好！新年快到了，是时候大扫除了！”
我：“。。。。。。；即刻不爽了。。。 ” ”

算了，不开心的事就别想了，看看吃的吧！来一碟我最爱的 “甜言蜜鱼” ~ Honey Curry Fish

胶鱼切片粘上面粉后，下油煎成金黄。

煎好的鱼片捞起待用。

留一些油炒香葱茸，加入1小匙咖喱粉和10片咖喱叶，2-3 大匙蜜糖，少许盐和适量的水。煮至浓后，加入炸好的鱼片炒至均匀就好了。

辣辣甜甜的，好好吃哦！！

再来一碟苦瓜炒蛋~ 有甜又有苦，超赞！

Opera cake~ Fresh Lobster !! ^^

2009-11-18T17:48:00.013+08:00

Mum's big day on the 10th Nov~ (opps...almost end of the month onli have the time to update my blog )
I have a gd reason for that...the magnificent thunder 'BOOM' my modem on the 9th while im surfing the net

I purposely took 2 days off on 9th and 10th just to prepare for my mum's birthday~
Mum said that she wants to try a new recipe- "The Opera Cake" ~ (sounds cool! the description about the cake was so great that it tempts my mum's heart)

Im not a fan of rich chocolates + coffee + creamy cake....but my mum likes it so we gave it a try.
The recipe was quite confusing....some of the steps did not explain very well...so we somehow use our own method to do it....it was kinda messy~~ lol

Multiple layers of sponge cake soaked with coffee syrup, coffee buttercream, ganache, coffee buttercream.... super duper Rich cake man!

Im not very satisfy with the decoration...actually i plan to deco it with fancy chocolate 'fence' tat i made with mealted chocolate, then i realised that it was too soft- my beautiful masterpieces all 'stick' on the grease proof paper (may be bcoz i mix the chocolate with milk during the melting process...next time have to try it without adding anything but pure chocolate)

Last minute i have no idea what to do with the surface of the cake...so i 'dig' out the biscuits and anything i can think of from the fridge to 'dress up' the cake...

(till now i still Dare not try the cake....coz i knew is very very SWEET !!!!)

~8pm~..........
Now its time to 'show off' some mouth watering food~~ we head to a seafood restaurant located near the Subang airport- South Sea Restaurant. FRESH seafood are served over there~~ to find the place, there is a large advertisement signboard featuring 米雪 (Michelle Mai Suet) on the way to Subang airport.

Omg... it was so delicious especially the Sashimi Lobster~~
One big lobster with 3 different style of cooking-
1) Sashimi lobster
2) Cheesy lobster
3) Lobster with yee-mee

Raw lobster meat goes with wasabi~~~

These big size "虾姑" (Mantis Prawn) taste good!!!

lol....yes, they are ALIVE!!

Actually we had a lot of food that nite....but bcoz my hands were busy peeling the shells and enjoying the moment....so i missed out some of the photos

Lively lobster

I dint know that abalone looks like this....

Whole aquarium full of Escargots (edible snails) caught my attention, but we didnt try it that day, may be someday~

Wholemeal bread~ 全麦面包自个儿做~

2009-10-27T21:27:00.005+08:00

做面包，没问题~
有面包机就行啦！也不算作弊啦，用面包机也要学问，不然肯定做不成~

这面包机是爸用信用卡累积分换回来的，Kenwood 的哦！
每天早上的早餐都少不了自家做的面包~

通常都是妈做的，这次该轮到我了吧！啧啧，不难不难~

使用这机必须遵照次序将材料放进才行。
~首先放进225ml 的冰水，然后加入75g 的蛋和60g 的油（或黄油）。
~筛入500g面粉（420g 高筋面粉+60g 玫瑰粉+ 20g 小麦胚芽）
~80g 糖，1 1/2 tsp 酵母，1 tsp 盐（这三样材料一定要分开三个角落放）
~开机，就搞定了！真够方便的。

这就是出炉后的面包啦！超香的~ 真想现在就吃掉它~~可惜已晚上11点多了，只能看不能吃的感受真苦。。。
而且为了拍得好看，花了整个钟头摆设+搞镜头，拍摄地点一个接一个的换都不满意。真累死我了。本来身体不适该早点休息的，却搞到12点多才罢休，头昏脑涨，眼睛疼痛。。。真的为艺术牺牲啊！

第二天早上吃完早餐后搬到外面拍的。花了点时间用果酱涂面包~效果不错，啧啧~

双黄蛋~ 妹妹咬到一半的水煮蛋被我硬抢来拍照 ^^"

Herbal Tea~ 凉茶

2009-10-27T15:07:00.006+08:00

我放假，好清闲；
没事做，嘴就馋；
桌子上，饼干多；
被引诱，不管多；
一块快，接着吃；
遗忘了，体质差；
再加上，天气热；
熬两夜，冒痘痘；
喉咙痛，鼻水流；
眼又疼，头又重；
人很燥，脾气坏；
灵机动，抓包药；
喝一口，降心火。

真是自讨苦吃。。。真是无法抗拒脆脆香香的食物~ 饼干是我的精神粮食啊~~
还好在药材店里买了包降火的草药，不知叫什么大名，总之现在急着拿来救命就是了。

就这三样药材，只认得菊花，其他两个‘叶子’。。。下次才请教那老板吧。

当然，这不是仙丹啦。。。慢慢调养吧。。。（还是不放弃偷吃了一块饼。。。嘻嘻）

Traditional Steam Cake~ 鸡蛋糕

2009-10-26T19:05:00.008+08:00

传统式蒸鸡蛋糕是我最爱吃的蛋糕之一~
因为它没有披上厚厚的cream，简单又朴素的外表，吃了它不会有任何‘罪恶感’。

虽然做鸡蛋糕的材料和步骤都很简单，但却是最难做得成的。。。
至今我妈还在研究到底哪个方子最好。曾经有一次蒸出来的鸡蛋糕发不起来，好像吃kuih一样。

这次轮我亲手帮忙做的，也是难逃 ‘成功之母’ 的命。。。=失败！
蒸出来后中间部分就塌了，形成凹状。

还好味道不差，只是中间底层厚厚的，边缘的就好吃多了。下次还要再挑战，就不信我搞不掂！

材料：
6 Eggs （这次只用了5 粒，却打出8颗蛋黄！3 粒是双胞胎哦！）
190g Sugar
150g Superfine Flour
2 tbsp Rice Flour
1 Orange juice （汽水或Eno 也可以-下次要试下7 Up）

~糖和蛋以中速打均匀后再用高速打15-20分钟, 体积膨胀至3倍大，形成白色浓稠的蛋糊。
~然后转中速打1-2 分钟
~大锅准备足够的水让它煮开。
~将面粉分几次轻轻地拌入蛋糊里，不可太用力。
~把面糊慢慢倒入竹笼里，震它几下将表面上的泡泡震破。
~放入锅里大火蒸30分钟。

其实整个蛋糕的样子不是那么美，所以没拍下来。切块来拍好看多了。
本来也不打算拍照的，但想想下若拍下来，下次再做时可方便做比较嘛。虽然不完美，但也有缺陷的美啊！我就最喜欢上图的蛋糕，软软绵棉的像枕头似的，好可爱~~
伴着草莓，再加上花了我蛮久的时间设计的心形果酱，不美也变美啦！！

这块是中间凹下的部分，很明显的底层结成厚厚的，只有上面和旁边是蓬松的。虽然口感不好，但经我这一拍，好像好吃很多~ （偶尔要自夸一下~）

Lotus Seeds Soup~

2009-10-19T20:55:00.004+08:00

Today i spent RM4.50 for a plate of Penang fried rice.
Usually i won't order fried rice because i don't wana take in too much carbs and oils...
plus just fried rice is too boring~

'Un-usually' today, i ordered the boring-high carb food (because i saw my colleague ordered it and it looks tasty )

No doubt, its not bad. Serving size is quite large; Satisfaction: 80%.

Almost 2 hrs later....

I felt like living in hell....yea...WHAT THE HELL??!!!

I went into the washroom for more than 6 times; (not bowel movement...)
and throw up 4 times....
i felt my stomach was burning hot, my throat was sour,
and my chest was fatigue....

When i went into the toilet for the 3rd time, i heard some1 was also vomiting...
Ha! It was my colleague who ordered the same dish as mine.
We look at each other and....Laugh!

Working with an empty stomach was really torturing....
no strength at all... cant go to bodypump class today!!!! miss the Halloween theme class...and miss one of my fav instructor....

Last Sunday after meal dessert- Lotus Seeds Soup 莲子百合糖水

I notice that is quite easy to make chinese 'sweet soup'.
Just throw in the ingredients into a pot of water, boiled it, and serve.

Ingredients:

莲子 Lotus seeds
芡实 Gorgon fruit
百合 Dried lily
茯苓 Wolfiporia extensa
淮山 Chinese wild yam

Braised bean curd with tomato; Orange Egg Pudding

2009-10-11T00:09:00.006+08:00

Home 'duo' with my sis ytd nite... mum & dad went to sb's wedding dinner.
Something pop up in my mind: Yes! its time to play 'masak-masak' tonite!
Lets see what we have in the fridge...
and check out mum's recipe book- ok, found a perfect match.

"Braised bean curd with tomato"

What i need is: -
-2 pieces of tofu (cut into pieces)
-celery, chopped
-mushroom, cubed
-tomato, cubed
-carrot, cubed (i added last minute)

Well...it suppose to be delicious...u know....
but somehow.... i added a bit more water... a bit less soy sauce...a bit less salt i guess.... so it tasted like.... NO TASTE (as describe by my sis.... how cruel is tat!!

but it looks ok.... in tis picture of coz...
i guess i have to change the name of this dish to: "Mix Vege-Tofu in Fei's style~ "

then i tried a very cool recipe from a blogger, i called it: "Orange Egg Pudding"

very simple ingredients:
-an orange
-an egg
-a bit of salt
Squeez out the orange juice and gently dig out the orange 'meat' from its skin.
The orange peel is to used as a bowl for the egg pudding.

Mix the orange juice and the egg, add some salt, sift the mixture into the orange 'bowl' and steam it.

Hmm....the taste not bad, but not smooth enough... well, its a good try, just a bit haywire during the experiment...

Banana Chiffon Cake + Crispy Fruity Crust~

2009-09-27T17:53:00.009+08:00

今天的主角。。。我家种的香蕉！
别看它青青的，它其实已经熟了~ 因为这品种的香焦是不会变黄色的，神奇吧？

妈平时烘的 Banana Cake 真的一流！但今天不是用她的recipy, 这次来点新口味的 Banana Chiffon Cake
只用了两条香蕉就能够烘一个蛋糕了!
（老实说，我以为需要用到整梳香蕉来烘蛋糕。。。真是pai-seh 啦）

样子不错吧！呵呵。。。我花了好多时间去装饰的。。。
除了香蕉，还加了胡桃（就是蛋糕旁边做装饰的，下面是切了片的香蕉）

整只蛋糕的样子就有点cacat 了。。。因我脱模时太心急了，没切好就拉起铁模，就变成这样了。。。
我的心几乎碎了。。。表面凹凸不平是因为表皮被我硬扯出来的。。。经过补补贴贴才像样点。。。

之后我又再做另一个点心！这是从别人的部落格里得来的recipy~
香脆的薄饼趁热折起来，然后加入切了片的香蕉。
(奇迹的在冰橱里找到一包 Kit-Kat，就借来‘陪一陪’主角了-因为饼皮折得不好看，只好用它来遮一遮丑了。。。 =p 不知那包 Kit-Kat 过期了没。。。)

因为第一次试做，折了三片后，剩下的都来不及折就已经凉了。。。结果断了=.="
所以换了个方式‘打扮’，也把香蕉换成奇异果~ 一样好吃！！

这点小不能放久，因为饼皮不脆了，口味就大减价了。。。

Ginger Egg Pudding~ 姜汁炖蛋

2009-09-22T21:30:00.006+08:00

Today is the last day of holiday for the week.... T.T
4 days of holidays just gone like that...
No movies, no shopping, no traveling, no clubbing.... a bit bored actually....
but is a good rest...peaceful and TASTEFUL http://lanshinetweb.myweb.hinet.net/msn/cwwany/w0269.gif

Tried a new recipe today~ taste not bad...but too milky, should add in more ginger
Texture very soft, light and quite filling~

Cooking!!! fried mee, Nestum tofu

2009-09-20T21:43:00.005+08:00

Home alone cooking for breakfast last sat...

actually i was not tat hapi tat morning...tot of goin out for breakfast but not.
my parens r goin out wit my aunt who was coming back fm Singapore.

my mum prepared all the ingredients there and i hv to do the cooking and fetch my sis out for tuition fm 10am-3.30pm =.=

after the cooking session, surprisingly i felt satisfy...coz it taste good XD

i remember last time me and my sis fried a large bowl of mee and ended up too soggy...we have to 'suffer' that for 3 meals

Today i felt tat im a bit odd.
I voluntarily got myself in the kitchen and cook a new dish for dinner- 'Nestum fried tofu'

I saw this recipe and really triggers my interest in cooking coz everything tat goes wit Nestum must be very tasty ^^
(i'd tried Nestum prawn & Nestum honey toast in restaurant, really irresistible!!!)

Well, i hv to admit tat i without my mum, may be we have to eat mashed tofu for dinner =p

1st anniversary~

2009-08-30T22:58:00.003+08:00

Year : 2008

Date : 30th Aug

Location : Steep road ard my house

Time : 6-7 pm

Activity : Riding bicycle

Climax :
Fell down- bang on car- specs broken- cut my eyelid
-skin lost -bleed - hospitalized- scars on thigh & eye

Effect :
- Change the direction of my hairline to cover the scars

- wear long pants to cover up the scars on my right leg

- attend interview with a big bandage on my right eye
(looks cool and scary)

- attend graduation ceremony without bandage, but still
looks scary with purplish 'cement' that seal my wound
(my worst-ever moment in my life)

- can't wear contact lens for a long period

- can't eat food that contain black soya sauce or watever
that may make my scars turn 'black' or ugly

- limited outdoor activities

- limited facial expression
(can't wink, laugh out loud, cry out loud etc.)

- psychological problem (first few months)

Conclusion :
Never get too excited when riding bicycle; concentrate; safety first.

Still dare to ride bicycle?
- Of coz! Dad just bought a new bike and is really cool!
no problem when speeding over the bump coz suspension
is really great ;) lol...

'Crush' and burn~

2009-08-30T00:43:00.003+08:00

Im addicted to group exercise~~~
Body combat, body pump, body attack, yoga flow~

One other thing that attracts me is.... guys!
I hv a crush on my instructor....lol!
A strong flow of electric 'shocked' me when we had eye contact for more than 5 secs!
I know is kinda stupid but i enjoy it!
~oh no...im 'sick' again.... no no no... cant simply fall in love again!! Slap me pls!!!

new life~

2009-07-25T22:36:00.002+08:00

Im addicted to yoga again~
hahaha....feel so gd after the class~
one gd reason to join a class is companionship.
doin yoga alone sometimes is quite dull and lack of challenging...

at times when i unable to finish the pose, i wont feel bad
(coz there are ppl ard that cant do either... =P)
actually is the feel that we look at each other and smile 'helplessly' that really makes me feel relax and fun!
at the same time, those ppl that really can get the pose perfectly could drives me up and motivates me to practise.

The main concern is....there are a few guys in the class too ;)
lol... but dont feel too excited about it 1st...
coz among them, some gave me the feel that they are 'not straight'...u know wad i mean...
but there r one guy that caught my attention... XD
im not sure whether he is the 'other type' i mentioned b4...
but the 1st impression is he looks like a hong kong tvb actor- Sammul Chan 陈键峰

lol...a bit looks like him...
is that part of the motivation to go for the class? hahaha...may be ;)

Uncle，安息吧。。。

2009-05-31T22:34:00.004+08:00

好知己的爸爸上个星期安详地走了。。。

我的心情确实蛮复杂的。。。毕竟认识了她爸也有很多年了。。。
我曾经吃过他亲手煮的maggie面加蛋和很多青菜；
那时的我超感动的，因我饿得手脚都软了，之后见到他捧出热辣辣的面时，
我真的很不好意思地说了谢谢后就狼吞虎咽地吃。。。真的很好吃。。。

坦白说，我第一次吃那么多料的快熟面。
一向来我自己煮的就只有面而已，没有加料的。
自从那次后，我学会了快熟面加蛋。。。

那段时候是我最开心的时刻，放学后就去雪铃的家谈天说心事；
之后还要麻烦uncle载我们去补习。。。真的很谢谢他。

雪铃啊。。。我觉得我自己好没用。。。
那天我真的不知说些什么来安慰你。。。
那时我才知道我越来越不懂和别人沟通。。。
我真的好难过。。。反而要你来安慰我说你可以撑得住。。。

朋友。。。我毕竟不是你肚里的虫，我不知你心里想什么。。。
若你真的想找人说心事的话，我随时奉陪。
Fren....you are not alone =)

地铁情缘之诱魂男声

2009-05-17T15:54:00.004+08:00

地铁女为了摆脱地铁男，故意提早或延迟上班的时间。。。
想潇洒地走一回可不是那么容易办到的事。
过程既痛苦又难受。。。

有一天无意中让地铁女再次遇见地铁男，
四眼交望的那一刻又重燃了地铁女的情火。
（妈的，真的无药可救！）
他又穿了那件紫色衫，可见紫色的魅力无法挡。
地铁女那天的心情指数直爆100%。
到底是丘比特还是月老搞的鬼？

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过了漫长的假期，今天地铁女又要上班了。
一想到可以和地铁男会面，她的心甜了。
当她跨过地铁的自动门后，她的心沉了。
。。。。。。
地铁女第一次看到地铁男笑得那么灿烂；
任何人见到那迷人的笑容都会被感染到；
可是地铁女却不快乐。

他身边坐着个女的，正开心地和他聊天。
尽管地铁女身上喷了香水，却隐隐地散发出强大的醋味。
（女人嘛，眼中总是容不进其他女人。。。）

正当地铁女醋意大发之时，她听见地铁男的声音。。。
从来没有机会听到他的声音，一旦听后却怔着许久。。。
。。。。。。
低沉又带有磁性的动人男声。。。却没有听到。
反而听到比女人还细致，‘娇美’又温柔的男声。
。。。。。。

地铁女怔了蛮久。。。
心想着：我的声音比他的还man咧。。。他该不会是。。。算了。
不想了。我的胃口大大地减少了。
男人身，女人声；女人身，男人声。
是雌是雄也分不清了。。。

地铁女打算另找目标了。。。
天生爱找陌生人来爱的女人，‘不生不吃’。
最近又见到一位把长发绑起来像日本的Samurai武士的男人。
好有型！成熟稳重又带有叛逆味道的型男。
一级棒！日本餐是她的最爱。。。
Mr. Samurai, Ohayo Gozaimasu! (早安)

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地铁情缘之一刀两断

2009-05-17T08:40:00.005+08:00

皇天不负有心人。。。终于让地铁女找到地铁男常上的车厢。

地铁男：
哎！又是那个黑衣女！怎么那么巧在这车厢见到她。。。

地铁女：
啊！紫衫男原来在这段车厢里！
终于找到你了。。。站哪里好呢？
站在他面前好像太唐突了，就隔个位子吧，至少不会太明显。。。
嘻。。。（心里已兴奋得快爆炸了，表面却要装酷。。。迟早精神分裂）

地铁男：
她走过来了！还站得那么近。。。不会是对我有意思吧？

地铁女：
（拿出小说）
好紧张哦！终于可以和他度过8个站的时刻，另外加上转车后的3个站！
11个站喔！漫漫长路，让我可以一次看个够！（啊，我的心跳得好快！）
别慌张，冷静点，继续读我的小说。。。（眼睛往斜一点看又可以望到他~ XD）

地铁男：
哇，她那本英文小说好厚哦！这些书是不是人看的啊？
对了，怎么最近好像一直见到她。。。能不能换个靓女啊。。。
她好像望过来了，快装睡觉。。。

地铁女：
他好像有偷望我哦！他是否也觉得我和他很有缘咧！（perasannya...)
（又偷瞄他。。。）
他的眼睛好美。。。脸无瑕疵。。。
为何我没这种条件？真伤感。。。

8 个站后。。。

地铁男：
终于到站转车了，赶快下车，免得那黑衣女又追来。。。

地铁女：
啊！他怎么跑得那么快！赶快追。。。
好挤啊。。。喂阿婶，别挡路！uncle，走快点啦！追不上他了。。。

转车站。。。

地铁女：
看到他了！快跑过去霸位。。。正好站在他后面！嘻。。。

地铁男：
呃！她几时站我后面的？我走得酱快都追到？
我感到浑身不舒服。。。我身后好像有股强大的力量想把我吸走。。。
我还是闪去另一行排队了。。。

地铁女：
咦！他怎么走了？。。。。。。
难道。。。他不喜欢我？
还是我有臭狐？
我又不是怪物，又不是黑洞，难道我会把他吸走吃掉咩！
（陷入自卑状态中。。。闷闷不乐）

心里超不爽。。。决定和自己斗气，
从这一刻开始不许再跟踪他！！我们一刀两断！
有宝嚒！他又不是什么超级大帅哥，干嘛要‘追’他？！
明天起，要换个时间上车，免得讨人厌啦。。。

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地铁情缘之Trial and Error

2009-05-13T23:10:00.005+08:00

追踪游戏玩了几个月。。。
渐渐地，地铁男也察觉了地铁女的存在。。。

地铁男：
哦，要转车了，得快点下车，不然又要等下一班车。
（下楼梯。。。）

咦？这长发女子原来和我搭同一辆车。。。
最近好像常见到她出现，以前都没见过她往这里排队的。。。

奇怪，每次见她都穿黑衣，像是去吊丧似的。
还是别管人家了，看我的报纸先。。。

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地铁男：
啊。。。今天怎么那么多人！还要排到酱后。。。
还好有份报纸解闷。。。

（感应到有人在望过来。。。抬头扫描下。。。）
咦，那黑衣女子喔！今天她迟到吧，排到那么远。
我好像看到她在傻笑，真是奇怪的女子。。。

嘿！车来了，赶快挤进。。。

地铁女：
糟了，今天迟到了。。。可能在转车站见不到他了。。。
（加快脚步跑。。。四处寻找他的踪影）

啊！紫衫男！还好轻快铁出了些故障，不然我也没机会见到他。
(忍不住笑了出来，好兴奋！）
他望过来了！赶快看回我的小说。。。

车来了。。。才见不到一分钟他就要上车了，真舍不得。。。

为何只能在转车时才见到紫衫男？
没转车前他应该也是和我上同一辆车呀，怎么没见到。。。
他会是哪个站上车的呢？真好奇。。。
通常都见到他那么早就到转车站，那他应该是在靠近楼梯的车厢吧！
明天去试探下，排在那里可能会见到他！

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就这样每次都进不同的车厢；
又或者试着不同的时间上车，
好像做数学的 Trial & Error 实验，
为的就是要找出紫衫男上车的位置，
那我们就可以一齐度过漫长的‘车途’。。。
（好陶醉。。。 XD）

地铁情缘之追踪游戏

2009-05-11T10:56:00.009+08:00

地铁女：

自从上班以来，我觉得整个人更加空虚。。。
我像似戴着空壳来上班，回家后才把我的灵魂注进空壳里。

Office里没有一个和我年龄相等的男子，更别说有帅哥看。。。
其他部门都有年轻的男子，就只有我的部门清一色女子+ ‘老’男人。

唯有在搭地铁时可以瞄一瞄经过的帅哥。
但不是说要瞄就能瞄，还是要碰碰运气。。。
我偶尔会被一大堆‘云吞’包围，动弹不得;
而有时就有很多uncle在身边，哭笑不得。。。

这几次转车时都会遇到一两个帅哥，看到帅哥自然心情超好。
起初我只是眼睛扫描下，止止渴就算了。也没什么遐想。
后来我可能太无聊了，无聊的时候最容易有歪念。。。

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地铁女：

今天又看到帅哥了！
咦，这戴眼镜的比较常见到他哦。。。
最近也常注意到他了。斯斯文文的，书生类型，我的最爱。。。哈哈！

他好像已‘陪伴’我渡过几次的地铁之旅。
众多人当中，我对他的印象最深刻。
就因为那天他穿着一件浅紫色的长袖衣。。。
那天我一直盯着那紫色的背影走到另一个地铁转车。
反正没事干，我决定跟着他，可能有机会挤进同一个车厢。。。
哇。。。浪漫地铁情缘。。。赞！不费时，即刻开始我的追踪游戏。。。

对了，要给他取个名字。。。就叫他。。。紫衫男吧！

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狼身

2009-05-03T22:50:00.004+08:00

我去了禁地。。。
那天我很狂野，很‘放荡’，很不是我自己。。。

我狂摇摆，我狂唱歌。。。
我拿着玻璃杯，拼命地将它倒满来喝。。。
我有点眼花缭乱，步伐不稳，但我很清醒。

我似乎有心事，我似乎假装神秘，我想忘掉自我。。。
夜深了，我像似人狼露出了真身，撕破了人身，大声狼嚎。。。
我情绪高涨，浑身火辣，猎物正诱惑着我，我好想再大胆地向前一步。。。
但我还是收回了那一步，从幻想中回到现实，回到了‘我’。

我像似被打了麻醉药昏睡了两夜。
我。。。恢复人身，做回‘自己’。。。
我仿佛还感觉到那诱人的气味，体内的血液正开始沸腾。。。
今晚。。。还会‘变身’吗？
镜子里的我好像在笑了。。。

Match making

2009-04-19T17:46:00.002+08:00

Ytd my mum told me that my dad wana help me to find a BOY FRIEND!
They said im picky and slow in action, sure i wont get any boy if they don't do anything to help making this Boy-Hunting process faster.

Oh Nooooo................pls don't do anything stupid or how should i say....Lou-Tou (老土)
Don't ever try to get me into any of the match-making date... @@
Oh pls.... that's really embarrassing!!

They are considering my dad's fren's son!!
I saw him in the Monash graduation ceremony....gosh.... same uni!
My dad saw his fren on tat day...and so surprise to see that his son also graduated from the same U as mine...

well... those who attended the ceremony sure wont forget how i looked that day....i just recovered from the terrible accident and the scar on my right eye is very horrible....and im wearing specs (which im not looking gd with it), and im quite down tat day coz im not in my best appearance for my graduation....

The worst thing happened tat day... my dad drag me along to meet his fren and also his SON...
gosh im sooo sooo soooooooo EMBARRASS!!! I knew i look awkward when i met them.... just simply say Hello...,smile, and go.... =.=" tat uncle look surprised to see me in tat condition, my dad explained and i just stood there ...NUMB. I cant remember how his son looked like... but is kinda handsome, gd looking guy...

A handsome guy met a 'cacat' girl will not have any happy ending after all. So pls.... Dad, don't arrange any date for me, tat just not goin to work. Because this is not a fairy tale...just forget it.

I'll hunt my own prey. Don't force me...or else i won't bother to 'hunt' anymore.... and become a fully Vegetarian. =p

A**hole

2009-04-05T23:00:00.003+08:00

These days i saw some of my frens like to play the quizzes in facebook.
Im bored. So i played. End up frustrated. =.="

Stupid quizzes ever.
One of the quiz i tried called "the most suitable english name for u"
Ask stupid questions. Give stupid answer.
Guess wat.... "ASSHOLE".
@#$%^&*(*&^%$#

Im the stupid one who did the quiz.
bcoz im curious wat the answer will be....

The lesson is: Avoid all stupid quizzes even though u are bored.
I feel like wana....
Feed tat idiot who create that quiz with SHIT,
Nailed tat idiot on the wall and spank tat idiot till he has no ASS.
他妈的。。。

半条命。

2009-04-01T10:33:00.003+08:00

我今天终于请假了。
我总算没有亏待我的公司。
昨天全身乏力都要爬起来上班。。。差点晕倒在路上。

拜六早上因肚子痛而醒，当时已觉得不对劲了。
吃了早餐后，噩梦来临。。。吐得我头昏脑胀。
躺在床上整天，醒了又吐；吐了又睡。头痛，发烧，绞肚子，牙肉痛，全身骨头酸痛 @@

整两天没吃东西。还好礼拜日还可以喝下汤补一下，神志清醒，所以拜一照上班。
月尾最多东西做，老板也不喜欢我们这时候请假的，所以熬到今天才投降。
昨天简直是硬撑。Backup power 也快用完，桌上的那块面包从早上放到下午。若我再不吃就快变成晚餐了。

我真佩服自己，剩下半条人命的我还可以走蛮远的路搭车。
说实话，我真的有点害怕。车站好多人，站着等了好久，我快没力了。脚有点发软。
我怕我会倒下去。我不知我哪来的力气把我撑到公司再撑回家。
好险。好累。好苦。

‘失踪’人士名单... 好想见你

2009-03-14T22:38:00.004+08:00

突然觉得好空虚。
想起好多以前的事。。。

刚刚没事做，在GOOGLE 搜查几个人的名字。
结果没有我想找的人。茫茫人海中，哪有那么容易找个人？
我试着打我的名字进去。结果有好多YE FEI。。。却没有一个真正是我的。
原来要找个人不能这样找的。。。最后只会发狂收场。

这些人跑去哪里了？

'失踪' 者1号：小叮当（外号）
曾经是和我玩得最疯狂，最癫的一个玩伴。
我们都有着相同的兴趣，最投契的好朋友。
常被我欺负的你，很无奈的必须与我合作。
我很享受欺负你的快感。
你可怜地眼神向我恳求。
我采你都傻！你敢不做，我就威胁你。
我好像是高高在上的霸权女王。
你就是在我身边服侍我的太监。
我很想‘占有’你。
我不知我有否喜欢你，但我就是不喜欢你和别的女子一起。

多年后的今天，我只想知道你的消息。
在FACEBOOK看看你的照片和知道你的状况。
联络一下也好吧。我保证不会和以前一样欺负你。 XD

‘失踪’ 者2号：李奇（外号）
又是一个冤家。但却比较 ‘浪漫’。
与你梦幻似的经历，我一生难忘。
‘失踪’人士名单中，最想知道你的消息。
你还是和以前一样廋廋高高？
还梳着和以前一样的发型吗？
你。。。是否已经有女朋友了？
我正回想着你n年前的模样。
我好喜欢你的眼睛，尤其是你的眼神。
原来你也有梁朝伟忧郁的迷人眼神。
我好喜欢你和我吵架。
你说我字体难看。我说这是艺术。
直到有天知道你对我的关心后，我吓呆了。
我好感动，我很想你知道我其实很喜欢你。
可惜好景不常。你离开了。再也找不回你。

多年后的今天，我不想让你见到我。
我却很想见你，偷偷在一旁的看你。
或许我对自己没信心，我自认丑了很多。
我不想我以前喜欢的人说我变难看了。
你近来好吗？

‘失踪’ 者3号：神台（外号）
一见就对你钟情。
在cafe见到你后，对你有好感。
因你是我喜欢的那类型。
二见就觉得与你有缘。
好喜欢看你呆呆的样子。
心想是否能再三的见到你？
三见就情不自禁地堕入情网。
我变身成为一个追踪者。
只为了见你一面。
我在x 地点见过你后就常在那里出没。
又在y 地点碰到你后就常往那里闲逛。
天天像狗仔队般追你的影子。
为了让你注意到我，我常在你面前闪过。
想让你觉得我和你是很有缘的。
我为了你疯狂，为了你做尽了狗仔的本分。
虽然没法子认识你，但见到你我好满足。

今天的我，还真的想与你碰碰面。
若有缘的话，我想在自然的情况下与你相见。
等到那天的来临，你该会认得我吧。
由我们都相识的朋友当我们的月老好吗？

Bad things....

2009-03-14T21:01:00.004+08:00

At last... i could spare some time 2 update my blog...

I lost my IC, driving license, Touch & Go card, LRT monthly pass, cash, plastic card holder...

Robbed? nope.
Tercicir? i think so.
where? Sunway pyramid.
when? 9 march 2009. (my sis birthday...)

It was suppose to be a wonderful day.
We went to sunway pyramid for a movie: 7 Pounds ( i cried a lot...);
and ice-skating wit my dear sis (9 yrs ago we went 2 The Mines for our 1st skate, 2gether wit my dear secondary sch frens).

After the skating, we went to the toilet 2 change our pants...(coz is too wet; paiseh la, fell down several times, but surprisingly don't feel pain at all... lol)

I guess.... i dropped it in the toilet while changing... cis... >.<" I realised i lost them when i went back home ard 10 sth at night... Panic.... Went to the police station. Apply for emergency leave the next day to 'gao tim' all my lost documents. Pay for 150 bucks for the lost of IC... and the sad thing was... the photo taken for IC was HORRIBLE!!!! no second take. My look is like "The Most Wanted person in 2009- The Serial Killer: Scar-Fei"
.................................... i feel like wana tumbuk tat person.....................................

So many things happen these days....
Days are tougher for my best fren....Gina, hopefully u can stay tough and strong. All the best 2 u and ur family.

hot....

2009-02-16T20:19:00.002+08:00

Im hot.
Very Hot.
Extremely HOT.......TEMPER!!

I also can't explain why.
Its really no reason at all.
May be im lack of sleep...too tired.
May be the whether is too hot....

Finally i can't stand it anymore, went out alone.
The best thing to calm myself down is to go shopping.
Since no one buy me a handbag for present, i use my own $ to buy it.
Luckily found 1 tat meets my requirement...

But still... i need time to recover...
i keep asking myself... why am i so upset?
....................

Piss off

2009-02-14T14:16:00.002+08:00

My mood damn BAD today.

I can't control my temper.

I wana scream. I wana shout.

Don't ever ask a girl why her mood is BAD.

Everything is pissing me off.

@#$%^&*(*^%$#

Special day for Fei...

2009-02-13T11:52:00.004+08:00

12 Feb 2009; 8.00am

Get up fm bed and head straight to downstairs to hv a glass of water.
Saw mum was having breakfast.
As usual...its just a normal day. (no greetings...)

I went back upstairs and head straight to toilet.
As usual, take the toothbrush, squeeze some Darlie, head up look at the mirror....
"WHAT?!" (something is blocking my view...cant c very clear without my specs..)

Lol.... my lil sis is really "dai-sek" (worth to give her a sweeRM50t big kiss)
Immediately brighten up my morning-blue...
(although i don't really like the last sentence...and i still haven't get my present....since last year....)

I don't need very expensive present...
Sony Ericsson G900 (RM 1+++);
Wacom Bamboo Fun graphic tablet (prepare RM400-should be enough gua);
or a nice, water-tear-drag-dirty-resistant handbag (no less than RM60) ;
or cash...(RM50 and above).... thats all...
(hehe...too much for a form 4 school girl la.... )
Just kidding sis!

Happy Birthday Fei...

2009-02-13T00:40:00.005+08:00

又老一年了。。。
思想还不够成熟的我，总觉得还停留在20 以下的阶段。

对着镜子里面的她，
已看不见帅气的短发；
也听不到稚气的傻笑；
更看不透心里的秘密。

再多望几眼又发觉，
脸上多了岁月的痕迹；
眼角多了美丽的疤痕；
脸蛋多了讨厌的痘痘；
并且多了几斤的肉肉；
所以多了难解的烦恼。

天！为了让自己变得漂亮一些，
我已投资不少在化学药品上了。
更不用说那些穿在身上的东西。。。
所以说：
做女人可真麻烦。。。
做普通的女人更麻烦。。。
做普通又没本钱的女人简直是悲剧。。。

神啊。。。今年能否让我的生日愿望实现?

i am 'miss incredible'~

2009-02-01T16:04:00.008+08:00

Do i have a 'big foot'?
nope....
Do i have a 'little foot'?
nope....

Ever since i started my working life, my feet is 'working hard' too........
they become "The Incredible Feet"~

take a look of my shoes~

~1st pair of my working shoes

The base was totally ' tear off '...
life span: approx. 1 month

~ 2nd pair of my working shoe

The front part of the shoe was over 'torture' by its owner until the string is too lose...
(five toes can easily slip out from the shoe...)
it haven't been tear apart yet... but is not comfortable for walking, so i bought the 3rd pair...

~3rd pair of my working shoes

seems quite ok from this angle... but the bottom part....

life span: 2 weeks ++

At the end.... i have to switch back to my 2nd pair now.... i wonder how long can it last

(go get a pair of jogging shoes la....)

Now....take a look of my bag...

my 'new' bag.... life span: 1 month ++

ish.... i think i get a luggage better....

~ I NEED TONS OF NEW SHOES AND BAGS~!!!!!!

p/s: Happy CNY~

Fei's believe it or not ~ weird fish

2008-12-25T15:33:00.003+08:00

Wana c 'weird' fish?

only available at fei's house...

This poor fishy is a bit abnormal....

we call it "生canser 的鱼" = 'canser fish'. Quite creepy looking huh? so sam-tong.... (heart-ache)

My dad said one of its eye blind... poor thing... luckily he still have appetite to eat. (izzit a gd thing or a bad thing to live like this? )

Another one in the bucket.... this fish cant swim normally... i dono how to describe it... is like "打横来游" . He lost his balance gua... could onli live 'flat' on the surface of the water... cant put it together with other fishes coz they bite him badly... so have to seperate them.

Last time i had 1 fish that can swim 'back-stroke'. Dint hv the chance to take tat picture coz he died long time ago...

Hand in hand....

2008-12-21T21:20:00.003+08:00

For such long time i dint hold my parent's hands...
That day when i hold my mum's hand to cross a very busy road...
I felt so ashamed because that's the first time I hold my mum's hand for more than 10 sec....
All these while I hardly show my love and care to my parents 'openly'...
My love are deeply hidden inside my heart...

She holds my hand tightly although she knew that my palms were sweaty...
I could feel that my dear mum is getting older and my hands are now bigger than my mum's.
Now is my turn to hold my parents' hands; is time to show how much i love them...
I havent got the chance to hold my father's hands....
I felt a bit of embarrass.... but i'll find a chance to do so before is too late.
Don't be stingy to show your love to your love ones~

Fei's 'trademark'

2008-12-01T16:03:00.004+08:00

My newly 'created' Trademark ....

this scar formed 'elegantly' on my right eye

i started to like it

looks 'cool' on me

I officially become '刀疤飞'...请多多指教~

Special gift for a special person~

2008-11-09T21:11:00.009+08:00

I had a really busy weekend, but I'm kinda happy to do it~
My aunt from Singapore came back to celebrate her's and my mum's birthday. Their actual birthday is on 10 Nov (Monday).

I decided to give her a special present and I dont have to squeeze my brain juice for new ideas coz i steal some ideas from a special blog (i'll reveal it later~) =p

its not an ordinary flower in a pot~

The sponge cake i made for the base~ hv to cut the shape of the pot's base out

yes~ add in the cheese mix into the pot~

tasty oreo and straw~

the oreo cream and the 'soil' = the oreo biscuits~

put in the 'soil' ~

lastly~ Imported flowers ~ that's special isn't it? my parents thought they are fake flowers...

Ta-da~ my master-piece finally done~ ^^

okie, thats the special blog i said earlier~ http://pattaya-leng.blogspot.com/2008/06/blog-post_17.html

I havent try the cake yet... lol, dono how's the taste like~ hopefully is not too bad

im so proud that i could made one myself~ of coz with my lovely sis's help, and my mum's advice for the sponge cake (coz she knew that my sponge base wont turn up gd, bcoz i dint 'beat' it well.... so she give me another recipe to make another sponge =p)

knitting~

2008-11-03T23:01:00.005+08:00

Guess wat i've been doing these days~ im doing 'nenek's job'- knitting.

My mum is a superwoman~ she knows how to cook, bake, sew, knit, wash, clean.....watever skills that will enhance a woman's attractiveness, my mum has it. Well.... the sad thing is, her daughters dint inherit such talent from her mother...

Just occasionally take a 'wok chan' to cook; bake some cakes; sew some buttons......lol

That day...all of a sudden i have a strong feeling to learn knitting. Because i want to make a handwarmer for myself... its like a glove without 'fingers'.

i tot of use it in the office coz the air-con is quite strong, my hands freeze like ice sometimes. Gloves are too 'thick' and is quite inconvenience for me to use the keyboard. So the best thing is a 'fingerless' glove!

Surprisingly, its not tat hard to learn at all! however.... is quite hard to control the strength. The first piece was too loose, the 2nd piece fitted just nice... 1 big 1 small... so i make the 3rd one to match with the 2nd one... the outcome was quite ok... but... is getting smaller and smaller... mum said tat i pull the yarns too hard...so now i got 3 sizes of handwarmers now but the 3rd one still can pair with the 2nd one la... i dont care much adi, as long as it fits well~

later i wana deco my handwarmers with cute little patterns, different from knitting... they called it Crochet.

偶遇。。。

2008-10-10T21:09:00.006+08:00

早前想Blog 一Blog 那天发生的事，却一直没时间。。。

那天我遇见了以前中学时暗恋的同学。
我简直吓呆了！！！
我脸上长了几颗很红肿的痘痘，在他面前怎么可以丑丑的呢？！！
本来想避开他却让他见到我了。。。他还很快地跟我打招呼。。。
怎么办？只好硬着头皮，眯着眼再展开我最灿烂的招牌笑容，向他说：“Hai！”

他笑着向我走过来，我也笑着向他走过去。。。（总觉得有点Xiao Xiao。。。）

之后我还做了件最愚蠢的事。
我以前一直盼望着在那里遇见他，那天终于来临了，我却搞砸了。
我紧张过度，不知要说什么好， “嗨” 了过后竟然说：“呃。。。我要走了。拜拜。。。。”

。。。。。。。。。。

白白浪费了和他 “谈情说爱” 机会。。。。 BAKA！！

无论如何，我还是很开心可以见到他。。。但，我还喜欢他吗？喜欢有吧，但不是爱啦。。。
多多少少对自己以前喜欢过的人都会有点兴奋吧。。。但还谈不上爱。
有点遗憾。。。唉，没办法了，谁叫自己那么没用！！！

working working working....

2008-10-01T12:35:00.003+08:00

wow....long time dint update my blog~

After working for 2 weeks+ 2 days, i fully understand how working life feels like.... its totally sucks! haha....everyday arrive at the office will think about when can i go back; every time sit at my desk i will start to count how many days left till weekends.... totally exhausted! i wonder how ppl still have the energy to go out for dating after working for so many hours.

As a freshie, the 1st day of my work in HLB to do credit evaluation was not gd at all. i look like a dumb , i just couldnt understand what i am doing. Then few days later, im so bored in the office coz i have to read the 'manual' to fully understand my job scope. But the thing is.... no one explain to me what was all that terms about. No defination.... wat is CIF? CCRIS? CTOS? INSTINCT? SAP? HL? SAL? TL?..................... goodness.... besides, its impossible to learn and understand all the things in one day. i have to force myself to stay awake . Ssometimes ppl explain some of the cases to me, is not that hard to understand, but when i really got a case on hand, thats totally different thing.

Everybody is busy doing their cases, hardly anyone can guide me in a full time basis. Every step that i dont understand i have to interupt ppl to ask them question.... 2nd week onwards, i had to fully handle a few cases. I took 2 to 3 days to finish the cases that i suppose to submit on that day. Well.... i know is really hard to familiarise all the things in a short time, its really frustrating too, but at least i learn a lot of things...

During my 1st week, still a lot of company called me for interview, of coz i rejected. but when PBB called me to go for a medical checkup, i knew they are going to offer me! Well.... in terms of salary basis, of coz PBB is much higher... + other factors.... i decided to hop over.

Ytd i had tender my resignation letter, so next monday on the 6th oct i will officially work in PBB in HQ under trade finance. im not sure hows the work load overthere, hopefully i no need to work late hours....and no need to go back on weekends... hahaha... but is very hard to say, anyway now i got a job and satisfactory pay, i cant really complain so much. Now the important thing is..... REST!!!

Monash convocation...

2008-09-08T10:48:00.004+08:00

Finally....i'm officially graduated! Well.... honestly, im not that excited as im supposed to be... Kinda moody for the whole week.

Mainly because of my injury... those who know me well should know that im actually quite 'oi leng' = conscious about my appearance. I know that the scar is not that bad as what i'd imagine... but still its not a gd thing to be on my face.

Once in a life time convocation....surely will be one of the memorable event in my lifetime, not really a happy one of coz...but not that bad either... just, not enjoyable. I love flowers... I always imagine that i'll receive lots of flowers on my convo...(i even think of receiving flowers in the hospital...) but then when i actually get the flowers fm my family... i dont know why im not as happy as i should be...

I saw my friends were so excited and running ups and downs to take photos... i do happy for them, but somehow i cant pick up myself together and enjoy the whole event. My soul has gone, left my bones and flesh (<...haha cute huh) But of coz, i do feel happy when i saw the VU gangs were there...thx guys~ and not to forget, my sweet dearies: Gina n MC. Love to see u all there... and thx for all of ur concern.

A special thx 2 my dear parents and my sweet little sis~ i was so surprise tat my sis specially made a 'wabbit' for me... thats really sweet big kiss for all of u~

A card fm my sis~~

A cute 'wabbit' made by my sis~Muakz~~

Flowers fm my parents~ Muakz~~

Flowers fm my sis! She bought this fm her own 'piggy bank'...haha, she must be very 'sum tong'

A cute little heart from my dear VU fren- Sheau Ruh... thx a lot~ Muakz for u too~~

scars....

2008-09-01T23:55:00.004+08:00

The first night in hospital... 30.9.08...ard 11.45pm, I sketch this picture at that moment, right after my parents went back home. I had nothing to do... i felt lonely there, luckily my sis know me very well and brought me my sketch book...

what i can do was drawing...drawing...and drawing... that's how i pass my time there... it was quite hard for me coz i cant see clearly without my specs...

The pillow there was too hard and high for me... i really had a hard time trying to fall asleep... toss and turn for the whole night...the wounds on my leg are very pain, and i hv to be careful not to hurt my eye... well... that's the consequences of my action...i had to pay the price...

Honestly...i dont think so i can accept the fact that my face got a few scars... i dono how it looks like on my face, but the doc said i hv to be prepared to face it coz the scars are not a small ones...

How will i look like when that day my bandage is taken away? ...... i dont know..... but i have to prepare for the worst case....

accident...bleeding eye...scar forever...

2008-09-01T10:40:00.004+08:00

Tragedy 30/08/08.... A day that change my whole life....

As usual...i went out with my sis for a bicycle-ride that evening... we was riding for ard half an hour or more, we were laughing and chatting all along, but did not aware that danger awaits me around the corner...

Up the hills... sis and i was racing to get to the top first... i was leading that time, suddenly my right foot slip off the pedal, my whole body off-balance and slide towards a car that parked at the road side... my head bang on to the car. One side of my glasses was gone and i saw a few drops of blood on the other side of the glasses. I scraped my right knee and thigh seriously... bleeding with pain. My sis was terrified and said that my right eye was bleeding! I felt so dizzy, and my right eye was bleeding badly. i covered my eye and sat at the road side, my sis quickly rode back to call for help.

I was sitting there alone, recalling what just happened... i was terrified when i thought that the glasses that broke into pieces might went into my eye, will i be blinded? I cant really open my right eye...so blur... my face was so wet...i wipe it with my hand and saw a lot of blood.... gosh.... im 'finish' this time...

Finally...my father came and sent me to the nearest clinic. The nurses cleaned my wound and i heard them saying "aiyo...kulitnya terkoyaklah...." i could feel that my heart missed a beat when i heard what they said....then I waited so so long on the bed because the doc was not there... later the doc came and said that she could not do it and need to send to hospital and consult the specialist.

Well...i knew that my case was quite serious... i tried to cool down while heading to the Pantai hospital. We went to the emergency department, and wait again... Then the doc said he had to call the specialist to check on me, i heard he said my skin lost... the upper part of my eyelid injured badly and the skin lost... tomorrow only can do the operation...luckily the eyeball is ok, no internal injuries... alright...what a relief... but, i'll have a big scar on my face.

I came back home ytd, with a bandage on my eye... i hardly can see clearly coz i cant wear my specs.... i'll have an interview on this wed... and my convocation on saturday...

Tell me... am i lucky or what?..... yea...im lucky that when the incident happened, there are no moving cars around... im lucky that it wont affect my vission...im lucky that im the one who injured and not my sis, if not i'll felt so bad for the rest of my life... im lucky that, my parents are still around to help me... im so sorry that i'd frighten them... im so lucky that im alive ...

Drawing~ Japanese doll

2008-08-29T23:15:00.003+08:00

Hohoho! Finally i know how to use the pen tool in photoshop to draw!!
Before that i've been wondering why other ppl can really use a pen tool or pencil or brush in photoshop to draw with free-hand...

The previous drawings that i'd drawn was using pencil to sketch on a paper 1st, then i use the camera to snap it, transfer the photo into my pc. From that, i use photoshop brushes to colour my picture. The results was not gd coz my drawings lack of path lining and the colour effects. Just plain picture with colour. In fact, i also havent master the tools in photoshop, i just simply use my own way to paint it

But now...since i hv lots of time at home, i found some interesting websites that teach me how to draw using photoshop, the Japanese doll i drew was one of my masterpiece by following the tutorial in this website: http://www.photoshop-garden.com/view_tut.php?id=1
well...i guess the result was not bad, i kinda satisfy with my work actually there are a lot of flaws...takes time to perfect it.

I also want to learn Flash too. I heard that using Flash can create movable character/ animation. Thats really interesting... i so envy those telented ppl outthere that could set up their own website and having their own anime character and stories....esp those who created the emoticons we use in msn and blog a lot of hardwork and sacrifices...

well, i better do whatever i wana do b4 i start working....

Weird plants~

2008-08-28T12:34:00.005+08:00

Shot some pictures at my relative's house when we went to Ipoh for a day last 2 weeks... i forgot to take the picture of the giant durian we had eaten that day...much more bigger than the size of my head! the durians are not bad... but i dont dare to take too much, just took one and a half piece to get the taste coz im waiting to eat the Ipoh Sa-hor-fun, chee-cheong-fun etc... but then after i'd tasted, its actually not that great....coz i could hv tat in KL too...especially the popiah, chee-cheong-fun, rojak, yao-yu-ong-choi....i think kl one suits my taste better...

This thorny tree can be a great tool for acupuncturist~

Hey!! looks like he is laughing! hahaha.... what a cute cactus

Wow...nice hair you got there lil pot~ wonder how i look like if it is on my head...

Oh my...can you guess what are these?

Ha....i guess that's the 'root' of a tree...

What a nice skin this tree has...its like wearing a batik dress

dream vs reality

2008-08-27T23:46:00.005+08:00

Im confuse... The past few weeks i hv been looking for job, from jobstreet to newspaper....well, i attended 2 interview, and next week will have another one which i really hope i could successfully get it.

What trouble me is... my dear aunt advice me to study Master, she said is better to continue my studies at the young stage. She said those ppl that advice me to work for 1 or 2 years first then only proceed studying master are all bulls***t... she consulted one of her fren who had studied Master said that 1 or 2 years experience doesnt really help much because most of them held a junior post, that wont really gain much experience. So in other words.... proceed to Master 1st.

............what should i do?

I'm very grateful to my aunt for her advice.... however, I still have no idea what i should master... for me, i think i need to 'test water' by working for some time 1st in order to decide whether i'm suitable in this field.

Sometimes....i ask myself, am i really love to work in this field? i dont know...honestly, its not my interest. My interest is more on arts... i love to draw, i wish i could specialise in animation, create my own anime about me...or may be web designing also not bad...

but who knows.... may be thats only a dream... sometimes a person needs to try and error only will realised whether you are capable of doing that... i admit that in the 1st place i didnt choose to study art because i think its 'unsecured'.... it may be your interest, but can i earn reasonably to support my living? i dont know.... no one guides me i have no proper mentor to light me up. So now.... what i can do is to experience the working life of this field.

as the eldest daughter in my family....i'm always the 'white mouse' for life experiment. at least now i know what are the mistakes i'd done and i have to ensure my lil sis wont repeat the same thing again. I dont blame anyone, coz its my choice, its my lesson.

Now i just have to look forward, do whatever i think is best for me...no one knows better than me. Dont regret for what you have done... face it and be it your valuable lesson.

A bug's life~

2008-08-26T23:37:00.006+08:00

That day i helped my mum to boil some 'medicine' using the herbs and plants from my house garden. As i was washing the herbs and plants , i found several buggy hiding among the herbs! Luckily i dint 'washed' them away, so i quickly rescue them and put them aside the basin.

Hey there ninja buggy!

Ninja buggy is wondering around in the kitchen...

Ha! There is another one here....wow...he got 2 pair of 'eyes'! cool~

Hey! yellow buggy is smiling at me!! Say 'Buggy'~

Yellow buggy finally manage to climb up the leaf! hooray~

A rare orange colour 'mosquito' under my computer desk...
will i become a 'Mosquito woman' if he bites me? .....err.... no thx

Can you see where the brown buggy is hiding? hehe....now u see me, now u don't!

job hunting....sucks

2008-08-24T00:07:00.002+08:00

I really so fed up with job hunting now.... because in every post i applied for, my resume and cover letter need to tailor-made specially for that..

That is not the worst thing, what i hate the most is to fill in the online form.... thats really time consuming man... i just cant send my resume like that, instead i need to fill in all the details in their e-form... after that, need to wait for they reply and consideration....

Recently went for 2 interview in 2 consecutive days... well... lazy to write in details...

I got the job offer from Alliance bank... but is a Mortgage Sales Officer... need to do housing loan sales @@

I doubt that there will be people buying house in this kind of economy situation... i know there are, but not much... if i accept the challenge... can i survive? If i cant sustain long enough and quit the job in less than 2 mths... that will certainly affect my resume....

Nowadays very hard to find a suitable job in bank... mostly the vacancies available are sales and marketing post... hardly any that meet what i expected....

I really need some guidance.... perhaps hv to consult my parents and relatives...

原来我不再‘爱’你了。。。

2008-08-06T23:56:00.003+08:00

原来我不再‘爱’你了。。。
哈哈。。。我只想到一个词可以形容我现在的心情-解脱！

他就是我上次写“妒忌”的男主角。终于我放开了。真的像拉屎一样顺畅（除了便秘）。

好奇怪的感觉。我并没以前那么在乎他了。反而觉得他实在是“MENYAMPAH” （也不真的是讨人厌啦。。。只是个形容词）。

要放下一个人真的真的需要很久的时间。。。。
但你会不知觉得地发现有一天你真的不在乎他了。
是太久没见了？还是感情淡了？或是一直以来你在执著着？
无论如何。。。总有一天你会清醒过来。像似给锤子POK了一下； “啊！我醒了。”

神奇吧？但为何那锤子不早点出现？这。。。。我答不到。。。。
或许还舍不得放下那美好的回忆。。。太刻骨铭心吧。。。
又或者是希望对方会回头对你说。。。他还很爱你吧。。。
也可能是你暂时找不到新的对象。。。把他先留着吧。。。

我很庆幸，我看到码头了。迷途的小船终于可以靠岸了。
“嗨！我回来啦。。。”

Rush hour....

2008-08-06T22:52:00.004+08:00

I went to Monash U today.... seok ling told me tat 2day got tis Monash Finance Day going on... n there will be an interview session conducted by one of the banks. I thought tat will be a gd chance for me to seek some info about the vacancies n try out the interview. At least gain some experience so that i will know how to do for the next interview.

well... its kinda rush for me coz i received tat info fm Ling quite late... of coz i havent prepare anything for an interview. I realised i dont hv a covered shoes, i dont hv passport size photo, i dont hv photocopied certs, i dont hv my official academic transcript..... God! most importantly, i dont know wat positions they are offering!! cis...how do i structure my resume to suits the position? well.... i try to calm down....but my hands are non-stop moving: search 4 tis, search 4 tat, typing, packing........ my mum was so worry bout me...she kept bumped into my room n said "calm down, dont stress urself...." how am i suppose to calm down when i knew tat i dont hv a lot of things?

well...i dont wana bored u all by saying those progress.... cut the crap-

i scraped my right foot bcoz of my sis's shoes which i wear for less than 1 hr.... then quickly rush to pyramid to buy a new one... but still very pain coz the covered shoes makes my wound worst.

ok...cut the crap....

i went there for seminar 1st... then till 3pm its my interview. i dont really like the post they offer, but i just bang in just to get some interview experience. well.... with my scraped foot, i rush n find the venue.... cis, i lost in my own campus. at last i found it.... then surprisingly... they said " oh! u wana apply for tis post....well... im afraid the interviewer is not ard, im onli incharge of xxx post...."

........................

well..... wat should i say? should i b hapi about tat? well.... honestly i kinda relief...coz i really not in the best condition for interview. but still kinda disappointed also... coz i tot of experience the feeling of being interview....

at least, i still obtain some info about other banks, n i submitted my resume to them too. hopefully will hv positive result soon~

ohyea.... i tot of bumping into 'my' nerd today... but sadly no fate... well... not so sad actually, just kinda miss his face, tats all...hahaha i think i wont so crazy about him now, im fully 'vegetarian' now... not interested in 'meat'=guys =p

Pandora's box

2008-07-16T20:40:00.004+08:00

My father just lectured me today...its not really scolding me, just a normal conversation, but ended up with tears and sobbing. Not a serious matter...its just that what my father said its really true about me... all these while i dare not face the problem. I kept it in the deepest corner in my mind. Sealed and locked it up, like a Pandora's box.

Today everything has burst out, all my fears, my anxiety, my weakness.... it has revealed and no longer need to be hidden. Everytime he touches that sensitive issue, i hardly can control myself. I wasn't that firm as i thought i would be. I could not stand it.... i sob until i couldn't breath. Its really hard to act calm in front of my father and even harder to force myself not to cry....

I'm will be ok...someday, i promise.

2moro, i'll stand up straight and start to search for the lost 'me'.

loser... a.k.a ho ye fei

2008-07-15T23:21:00.004+08:00

Im having all kinds of unnecessary stress...
i felt so weak... i hate myself for being so weak. timid. loser. stubborn. proud.

i admit that i cant stand to lose. i couldnt step forward to ask for something i want, coz i afraid of being criticize, im too concern of face-saving, im too sensitive about my own reputation.

my mouth is like coated with super-glue. i couldnt open my mouth to ask for help. i couldnt speak out what i want. i am too stubborn and insist that i can solve the problem myself.

i ended up being a loser. Damn stupid loser. i screwed things up bcoz of my attitude. Damn me.

a terrible haircut....

2008-07-09T23:05:00.005+08:00

i got a new haircut recently.... T.T

totally unexpected! i kinda regreted >< but what to do... i cant undo it... i have to hide myself at home for quite some time now....

i got a weird fringe, n my long hair suddenly become quite short, i felt like i lost 50% of the hair.... AHhhhhhhh.....

i envy those girls with a small oval face shape.... coz whatever thats the ideal face shape for almost every kind of hairstyle~

wana know what my face shape is? take a kamus perdana or oxford dictionary (thick one), put it on ur face.... thats the kind of face i hv... BIG, SQUARE, WIDE etc..... (i'll update the adjective if i found one later)....

Me: "Mirror mirror on the wall, who on earth has got a squarer face than mine? (dont compare me with guys'...) who on earth has got a wider forehead than mine? who on earth has got a pair of small eyes like mine that fit in that kind of face?"

The mirror:"............................=_="......................................."

Me:"...........................................>.<................................................."

yoga~

2008-06-26T10:42:00.009+08:00

i regretted why i dint take gymnastic, wushu, taekwondo, karate or any other lessons that would improve my body flexibility.

since primary sch, i was so envy those girls tat took ballet lesson coz they can do side splitting

That time i told myself tat its impossible 4 me to do coz im too old to learn.... (8 yrs old)

After form 5, my mum started to take yoga class. She took few months of the lesson and surprisingly her health improve, and knee ache also reduced significantly. Later she took me to join her too. after almost half year of yoga lesson, i couldnt continue coz clashed with my timetable.

I practice yoga at home for quite some time. Some of the pose still cant really do it. I almost give up. But till this year, after i saw a tv program, the girl said tat she took about 3 months to do the monkey-pose (side splitting). She was much much older than me! That really motivates me.

The progress was full of surprises and of coz PAIN!!! Stretching is one of the most painful thing for me... i often scream at home while practicing few of the pose.... this is one of the hardest for me....

but all the effort really pay-off. 22 yrs old...finally i could do a side-split!! although still couldnt beautifully 'split' it, but at least it look something like tat =). i took more than 3 months of coz... coz i dint practice everyday. The youtube video helps me alot too! Those video teach me the proper way to do the pose.

now im trying to do the handstand...
wow....tats really hard to do! gona practice against the door for support. Working hard on it =)

There is one addidas advertisement that i admire so much...
i wish i could do it. i will learn to do it =P

There is another pose im trying to do...Back-bent
cool huh! needs a lot of flexibility.....

and tis too....
oh man... so elegant....

well... b4 i find a job... i must fully utilise my holidays ... to do watever i wana do...
Life just cant be wasted in doing those things u dont like...once in a while, gona take a break... go ahead watever ur will tells u to do...

no more exam!

2008-06-24T12:03:00.004+08:00

Finally....exam is over~~~~~

no more stress....oh man... i really tired....

i 'tortured' myself wit tat wood plank i used to sit on. haha... just bcoz i i hv more space to strech my leg, put my things, take a nap, 'lazy' on it, day dreaming, study hard...............

im glad tat my mum boiled some herbal tea 4 me... see tat big flask on my sis's desk? tat the 'yong sum sou'... ~warm n bliss~ thx mum~

well... now im FREE! those bitter days are gone now~~~ HAHAHAHA

Independence day 4 me~ Cheers!

fainted in the exam hall!

2008-06-19T14:37:00.003+08:00

2day i just had my Accounting theory exam@ 8.30am...
one thing shocked me was my fren fainted in the exam room while he was finding his seat b4 the the exam starts!!

i was seating almost at the back of the exam room, then i saw him walking towards the end of the row, he dint saw me so i couldnt say hi to him... then i continue to pack up my notes n stuffs, then all of a sudden, he was lying on the floor n few of the students helped him out n called for the invigilator.

oh gosh.... i was really shocked n worried bout him. Sadly i couldnt do anything but to pray for him. i wonder how is he now. hopefully everything is fine.... he must be too stressed n study too hard....

i felt so lucky tat my mum really took good care of me while im studying for exam these days... as usual when comes to exam, my health meter will gone down: headache, stomach ache, tooth ache, back ache, eyes ache, i drop quite a lot of hair too.... >< well, my mum will prepare dishes which r suitable for me to eat, boiled some 'yong sum sou'...... oh mum, i just couldnt live without u, love u mum~

失去。。。。

2008-06-11T14:56:00.004+08:00

我最近失去了一位朋友。。。

我已经好久没见过她了, 虽不是很亲密, 但也曾经是蛮好的朋友。。。
她在中三时和我同座的. 她不是很会说华语, 还好会说广东话, 不然真的很难和我沟通 (我的国语和英语都很差劲的。。。)

我常带给她麻烦的... 想起来也蛮愧疚的。。。那时当学长的我常'迟进早退', 还好有她帮我交功课,借笔记给我抄。。。而且每次上国语和英语节时, 幸好有她在帮我翻译。。。 (坐我隔壁真是辛苦她了。。。)

很少见她生气的, 好乖好斯文. 哪像我粗粗鲁鲁, 脾气暴躁又很会骂人的野蛮女子。。。

世上这么乖巧的女子, 很不幸的被可恶的病魔夺走了她。。。
好心痛。。。
我很遗憾的没在她生前与她见面。。。

那天, 我和朋友去见她最后一面。。。我担心太久没见会有陌生感; 但当我看到她的照片时, 所有的熟悉感, 所有和她一起时的画面通通涌进我的脑海中。。。莫名的伤感当时感染了我。。。

我听到别人说着她被病魔折磨的情形, 我的泪像洪水般流。。。
我哭了。。。抽噎着。。。听到自己的啜泣声。。。我更失控。。。

生命真的很脆弱。。。那么轻易地就被夺走了。。。

Dear Mui Leng... may you rest in peace, somewhere out there.... where there are no tears, no pain, no burdens, no disasters.... you will be there, with smile on your face....

we will always love you....

妒嫉。。。

2008-05-15T17:30:00.001+08:00

"想念你。。。"

多么甜蜜的一句话；若是他想的是我。
多么讨厌的一句话；若他想的是别人。

我的心情无法平伏；为了他那句话。
我整个人僵着许久；眼盯着那行字。

我听到心被摔碎的声音；它在隐隐作痛。
我看见脸上转化的表情；它在渐渐变灰。
我闻到身上散发的味道；它在蒸发变醋。

他只是个朋友。也是我的绯闻男友。
他是个大少爷。很有败家子的模样。
他是个小师奶。有八卦妇女的嗜好。
他是个小孩子。就是超喜欢欺负我。

我只是个配角。也是他的普通朋友。
我就是很犯贱。偏偏就是喜欢上他。
我是非常清楚。他并不是理想配偶。
我越是想逃避。就越反抗不了良心。

过了这么久没见，我们都另找目标了。
我以为我已放下，但原来我还是介意。
介意他的那句话，是说给别的女子听。
到底我是在妒嫉，还是不服气输不起?

我贪恋他一时的温柔，来满足我心灵的空虚；
我明知他的甜言蜜语，是为了得到我的帮忙，
却还是不忍心拒绝他，为了想得到他的爱戴。
我不知我有否爱过他，若这算是爱，我就真的是盲了。

还当我是朋友吗?

2008-05-13T23:59:00.001+08:00

我想对某人说这句话很久了。。。但始终开不了口。
"你当我是朋友吗?　那为何你要装得很神秘似的，回来后也不告诉我一声?"

她是我中学朋友，乖巧、超级有礼貌、斯斯文文、还有张优秀的脸孔。
在我朋友当中，唯有她带着一种独特的气质。
我在她身边时会有种冲动想保护她，甚至把她当女友。
我们之前也相处得蛮好，像亲姐妹般似的。。。

后来我发觉到她有点不同了。
她本来是这样的吗?　可能。。。因以前我们并没真正的互相了解过。
记得那次是我们第一次吵架。其时也不算是吵架，就为了那么件小事而冷战。
我们本来开开心心地去旅行，结果第二天冷战而归。
但后来也没事了。。。不知怎么的我不忍心伤害她。
即使后来我也因其他事而不爽，但还是放下了。

她常玩神秘似的；不回短讯，不接电话，不给我知她的近况，从远处回来后不通知，
走后不留痕迹。。。
我当然生气。我非常不爽。
但偶尔她会来电，我就什么都忘了。毕竟是朋友，哪会记仇。
而且有时她说她好难过，好空虚时我确实心痛。
因某某原因，她确实在哪过得很痛苦。
我还能说什么吗?除了安慰，我也说不出我对她的不满。

今天见她上网了，好兴奋的跟她打招呼。
她说她回来了。(啊?几时的事?该不会是很久了吧?)
问她一些东西，她好久才回答。
之后说她累了，想睡。就走了。

你是真的累了，还是敷衍我?
我不知我为何那样想，但我真的怀疑，你。。。还是你吗?

我也累了。。。我不喜欢猜谜游戏。也讨厌和你玩抓迷藏。
你知道做你的朋友是多么辛苦吗?
朋友之间不坦诚，根本不算是朋友。

恋爱真正的滋味

2008-05-13T13:47:00.003+08:00

恋爱到底是什么滋味?
单身了那么多年，虽然已习惯了，
但我好想好想试一试。。。舔一舔。。。
毕竟生活中就是少了些东西。。。对，少了恋爱。。。

。。。。。。

单单纯纯的校园恋爱我错过了。。。
我好羡慕别人能够大胆地去爱。。。
他们隐瞒着父母，战战兢兢地。。。
虽可怕但够刺激，情侣们都珍惜着能见面的机会，
那时的爱就那么单纯得可爱。。。
我却只有单恋的份，即使有人向我告白了，我也没勇气去接受。
我有太多顾虑了，本性又太挑剔，所以还是单身。

那时我以前以为升到大学后可以谈一场轰轰烈烈、刻骨铭心、山盟海誓、生死相依、感人肺腑的恋爱。。。(看太多ＴＶＢ、韩剧、小说的后遗症)
过了差不多三年四个月十三天，我快毕业了。。。连只苍蝇都没打过，蚂蚁也没抓到，蜜蜂。。。(呃。。。蜜蜂别来了，免得像上次那样被叮得进医院)，男生嘛。。。
更不用说了。。。我相似有麻风症，没一个男生敢接近我。。。

我真的那么差劲吗?　真的连普通的男生都吸引不到?　
(还用说，大学出了名美女多，样貌普通的肥仔身旁都贴着个身材火辣、天使面孔的美女了，哪会轮到我?)
真是彻底失败，我为何选了这间美女如云的大学读呢?!
她们不只抢走了所有的俊男，更气人的是然连普通货色的男生都给泡走了。。。
妈的!　留谁给我啊?

我。。。还要等多久?
时机未到还是我错过了?
我。。。好想谈恋爱。
想要个厚实的肩膀让我依赖着。。。
好想好想。。。

love is in the air~

2008-05-12T22:25:00.009+08:00

my pictures tells all the stories~ i drew tis pic when he was sitting beside me 2day~

2day is my '1st' time i heard his voice....i know is silly... but is true! well... i heard it b4 last time, but i hardly heard it coz im too far away... but 2day i heard it when he was talking on the phone beside me... hohoho.... his voice is so SEXY!! oh man.... i lov sexy voice.... i just couldnt control myself~ sadly i 4gotten to record down his voice.... (gila betul....) hahahaha.....

[love is in the air~] i wonder how u feel nerdy boy...my sixth sense told me tat im not tat annoying to u, so i guess we could b frens? yea.... im hoping n desperately wana b ur fren... just wana know more bout u, can i?

War of Fats

2008-05-11T16:03:00.011+08:00

"FAT"... i hate tis word... i dont wana b FAT... why there are ppl ard tat hardly 'grow fats' on their body? well, some of them eat alot, zero exercise, not taking any slimming products or course.... but they are still SLIM.... T.T sadly im not one of them~~~~

im quite upset coz i realised tat im actually quite FAT! all thx to the video tat my music teacher took when i was playing the song.... oh yea... i could c how well i performed... but one thing tat catches my eyes was the 'little rat' on my arms....

oh gosh.... tis is like a nitemare!
why cant i slim down?! arrh.... i exercise at least 3-4 times a week, 1 hour or more, i control my diet... n still.... 'fats' are growing everywhere on my body (except my boobs, fingers & toes)... =.=

dont try to advice me like " be confident! a girl is pretty when she is confident of herself"; "wats inside u is more important, not the outlook"; " u're not fat, xxx is fatter than u"...........

yea... those kind of advices are use to advice other ppl... but not applicable to myself and is not acceptable! i'll get my confident when i satisfy with my own condition & smile happily when i see myself in the mirror (picture or video)....

"im gona get rid of u (fats) soon! watch me slim down!"

Sweetest dream~ Sweetest boy~

2008-05-08T13:16:00.011+08:00

Yo! opening ceremony of my new blog~*puff* [champaign]

i hvent announce my new blog to any1 yet... wondering should i keep it secret or open to public?
As wat i named my blog "Fei's unrevealed Secret...", i should keep tis blog 2 myself onli... but somehow it is better if there r frens come n drop by wit some comments...
Conflicting.... anyhow, i'll leave my blog here until some1 discover it =)

ok...my 1st shout out is: " i miss u a lot my neardy boy!"

i dream about u last nite... i couldnt remember the details, but wat i could recall is you & i were sitting side by side, u talked 2 me like im ur dearest fren (or gf?), we were so close until ur hands touches mine~ my soul has carry away by ur lovely smile... yea, tis is the 1st time i saw u smiling at me & laughing like a kid =)

gosh i wish tat is real.... sadly i dont know why i need to leave, then when i look back, u're gone... i was then looking 4 u everywhere like i always did in reality... but i couldnt c u anymore, i woke up... and realised i was going 2 be late 4 class...

there it goes.... my sweet dream & you...

i was hoping 2 c u 'again' in uni 2day... last time i saw u b4 in the library after my 1st class, so i was looking 4ward 2 meet u there... but i couldnt c u there. i suppose to go back home but bcoz i'll have discussion wit my frens, i nid to stay & hoping 2 hv another chance 2 meet u...

after the discussion, everybody is goin back... i packed up my things n standing at the library entrance, wondering should i go upstairs n hv a look? well... nothing 2 lose, i went up n walk 2 the usual place we used to 'meet up'....

=) there u are... u lifted up ur head...
we had a quick eye-contact...
then i passed by u and straight back home.... with smile~
in my heart i was humming a song "Happy 2gether" by The Turtles

"imagine me and you, I do
I think about you day and night, it's only right
To think about the girl you love and hold her tight
So happy together~"

i'll c u soon neardy boy... nex monday ya! in the library....